Category: Manifesting - The Witches Table
 
_Early in my path I was more heavily influenced by Wicca than I am
today.  It was by far the most accessible and easiest route to
Paganism and Magick and many of the first Pagans I met were also
influenced by Wicca.  This meant that my first brush with polarity
(besides "reversing the polarity of the neutron flow") was a binary
gender polarity - the male and female in perfect harmony, Goddess and Consort itself a definite heterosexual relationship.   The idea of
codifying socially constructed gender ideas into a religious and
Magickal system was and is highly unappealing to me.  Later I
came to see how exclusionary it was for GBLT Pagans whose relationships and live experiences were ignored and marginalised by the traditional God and Goddess coupling.  So I pretty much left polarity alone - I ceased calling both God and Goddess into the circle unless I had a specific reason to; the world did not end and my Deities didn't seem to care much.

So I was incredibly intrigued to see that the first part of Fiat Lux
(T.Thorn Coyle's online mystery school) was all about Polarity.  The
first installment went up in October but I have only just finished it;
it did not disappoint.  I have written before about how impressive
T.Thorn Coyle was speaking at Treadwells last year and I have read a previous article here by T.Thorn Coyle on gender and so I knew I would be getting something far more interesting than just *male and female energy*. Fiat Lux did not disappoint!

The working for the month was about uncovering the polarities in our own lives, framed very much in  terms of our own experience - I
naturally chose the push and pull between Driving Stress and Complete Relaxation, two poles I am buffeted between regularly. The starting point is learning to sit between the poles and simply be.  Sounds simple, but if it was so simple I wouldn't have spent so much of my life desperately seeking relaxation and lurching off after stress.  I would imagine that most people have a polarity struggle in their lives of some sort in their lives and it is really valuable to pause and think about how much it might be affecting, consuming or interfering with you achieving your dreams.

I am currently working and dreaming towards a more integrated Magickal Life. Achieving a state where I am at peace with both these forces and being able to stand in the space between them would be hugely liberating and, for the split second I achieved it in the Fiat Lux practice, it was immense. Standing tall in the middle and holding the space between felt almost overwhelmingly powerful and empowering.  Strong stuff I can tell you.

It threw up a reminder of one more thing.  A few years ago I was struggling with learning to drive and did some work on this both with hypnotherapy and the Chariot Tarot card.  Fiat Lux has reminded me of the polarity in the Chariot and I think I might need to go and take another look at it.  Clearly the Chariot is not done with me yet!
 
Following on from Tuesday's post.

My name is Antara.  That isn’t my only name and certainly isn’t the name by which I am known.  But I am going through a process of exploring what it would mean to be more open about who I am.

Because I am taking baby steps I am not yet ready to put my other name on this site.  Nor will I be marching into the office, standing in the middle of the open plan room and announcing I am a Pagan and Witch.  Yes that would be honest, it would also make everyone feel uncomfortable and I am not up for being the source of other people’s unnecessary discomfort. However I have wanted to start putting videos up on the website.  Little video diaries, possibly workshops and other interesting things.  I haven’t done so because that would mean putting my face up here and I have been paranoid  this would mean someone with enough technical ability could use that to “hunt me down and out me”.  Well, perhaps it is time to open the door a little crack.

Baby steps means that this video is only accessible via a password link on Vimeo.

So if you just go to the link type the password below and press play you’ll get to see my face…one more step to authentically living who I really am.

Password:  Authent1cm3

Eventually I'll work out a better way of getting these up here.